Jenny asks…
Is a miscarriage as tragic as the death of a child? Relate your answer to the abortion debate.?
If a mother loses her 5yr old child it becomes a news story
If a mother deliberately agrees to abort a pregnancy it becomes a political and religious cause.
But what if a mother loses her unborn child through no will of her own?
Given that so many people feel that an abortion is the killing of a living human, I would expect all of those people to feel that a miscarriage is the natural death of a living human being. So why do they only make news stories out of dead children?
I’m very grateful for your thoughtful answers. There are some superb comments.
Michelle answers:
Miscarriage is a part of everyday life. It is a tragedy, and most definitely a loss. Philosophically speaking, it is a loss of potential. Miscarriage due to abuse infuriates me, however most miscarriages are simply unfortunate, unpreventable, and unexpected. Abortion is the willful murder of potential, whether you believe that potential to be a child or not. It is unethical.
Insofar as miscarriages being reported, there is no MEASURABLE loss, so the press doesn’t really have any way to treat it. I’m a journalist, and it would be hard to report those kinds of things. Of course, the human-interest in a story is always increased when a victim is pregnant. That is respect for life.
Sandra asks…
Abstinence fallacy vs Netherland’s statistics?
How do ultra-conservative “Ward and June Cleavers” in this country justify the fact that in the United States, the teen pregnancy rate is more than nine times higher than that in the Netherlands, nearly four times higher than the rate in France, and nearly five times higher than that in Germany.
But, in stark contrast to the USA’s more repressive, inhibited approach to teenage sexuality and education, families in the Netherlands have open, honest, consistent discussions with teens about sexuality and support the role of educators and health care providers in making sexual health information and services available for teens.
Over there, adults see intimate sexual relationships as normal and natural for older adolescents, a positive component of emotionally healthy maturation. At the same time, young people believe it is “stupid and irresponsible ” to have sex without protection and use the maxim, “safer sex or no sex.”
What exactly is it about this that is not understood here?
And please confine your comments to the topic at hand. We’re talking about the contrasting teen pg statistics; nothing else. Our system fails/theirs succeeds.
Michelle answers:
It is called the “Ostrich theory” where you bury your head in the sand and ignore reality for the comfort of that little world of yours you shove your head into.
Except in most cases it isn’t the ground it is the person’s own ass.
Mark asks…
Has anyone experienced Preconceptual Counseling? I received a referral from my OBGYN.?
I’m 27 + married and I think that I should consider pregnancy sooner rather than later due to my very weak spine and past surgeries (I’ve never had spinal surgery). I could also have some fertility problems due to never having a natural period (at 17 years old, I still didn’t have my period and was placed on the pill to begin my period- I’ve recently stopped taking the pill to see if I get a natural period.) What can I expect from counseling?
Michelle answers:
I had a preconception appointment with an OBGYN. He was super nice. I talked to him in his office. He would have done a pap and annual tests but I had them done recently. He gave me prenatal vitamins and we discussed possible barriers to becoming pregnant, such as a very irregular cycle. He also tested me for PCOS, and found that I have it. I was glad to go to this appointment so I found out what I was facing before really trying to conceive for a long time with no results.
Laura asks…
am i expecting too much or do i have a right to be upset?
i am currently 31w3d preg and i have a 2 yr old as well. all day long i am making doc appts cleaning the house and running after my 2 yr old and dealing w/ all the natural aches of pregnancy going to work 3 nights a week and on the weekends and so much more it seems like… all while my husband wakes up goes to work then comes home and sits down and doesnt hardly do anything. then he camplains about all the stuff i didnt do that day rather then noticing what i did do. he is also putting no interest into this pregnancy w/ my first he wanted to go to all doc appts and he knew everything that was going on now he has no clue what is going on he never goes to doc appts w/ me or anything he doesnt even know where my doc is how often i have to go how much the baby moves or ANYTHING and i am just soo upset that i feel like even at this far in my pregnancy i amm still doing everything i have swollen ankles and no time to rest. and when he is home at night and i am off work instead of him taking over w/ my son he wants me to still run after him and cook dinner and run to the store and a million other thing…all i want is for him to show that he cares just a little… . do you think i have reason to be upset about all this or am i just over reacting about all of it?
Michelle answers:
You have every right to get upset about this! He needs to be helping you! You are pregnant for goodness sake!
Dr. Phil says being a stay at home mom is as tough as THREE full time jobs. So why do men have one full time job and get to come home and do nothing, while we have three that never ends?
My husband comes home and does dishes, and sometimes baths. If he is home early, you better believe he will be cooking and cleaning. Your husband needs to do the same.
Make a chart. Everyday he needs to unload the dishes. He also needs to be in charge of garbage, and things like that everyday. He needs to set the table, and help dish out food. These are little things as husbands and fathers should do to be productive in a marriage and as a parent. Not because you can’t or won’t handle it alone (because the lord knows we can do it all).
Also, he sounds depressed. If he is not interested in your pregnancy, or really paying attention to his family, maybe he needs to see a counselor. Maybe set up an appointment for him, and go together. Counseling is a great place to express your feelings with a third party who won’t side with anyone (en less needs too). Try and get him more involved, give him bath time duty, or story time. Lay with him after dinner on the couch and take his hand and make him rub your belly!
One last thing…if you are to tired to do something, skip it! Life will go on and it can always be done the next day. If your hubby complains, tell him he needs to do it, because you are PREGNANT and exhausted!!
Good luck
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