Donna asks…
What would you do if you and your girlfriend were in this situation (10 points for best answer)?
Alright I’m facing a real problem here. This is pretty hard to go through. My girlfriend is extremely concerned about being pregnant but the problem is it might not be my child. So here is our situation.
She had a devastating breakup about 7 months ago with her boyfriend of two years. He once told her he loved her, and although she won’t admit it I think he just told he loved her so he could have sex with her. He broke her heart saying hes not in love with her anymore, and she didn’t understand it. I don’t know the whole story but the friendship they had ended when he called her dirt, spat on her. And slept with her best friend.
Now during those months she was devastated she was heart broken, and she couldn’t trust guys she hated guys. She would spend a lot of nights getting drunk and having one night stands. Most of them mistakes. My guess is she was taken advantage of a lot of time. But at the same time shes very sexual so she didn’t put up much of a fight.
Two months ago when she now knew me but she just had a crush on me. I didn’t make a move as quickly as she would of liked. She ended up having one last night one stand . Her mom just had her start birth control, and she had unprotected sex. She told the guy make sure he pulled out but he never did. Instead he stopped pretty early and told her she needs to take a break. And he just left, she thinks he went in her
Couple weeks later I made a move. At the time I didn’t know much about her past. She was really sweet and cute and appeared innocent at work. All I really knew is she had the biggest crush on me and it was no secret. She is absolutely beautiful so how could I resist.
Everything felt so natural and came together quickly. She has fallen in love with me, she trusts me. And I am exactly what shes looking for. The one thing that’s always been weird is. Every single time we have had sex its been unprotected. Shes on birth control but we have never had protected sex. We talked about condoms but she never pushed them on me, and in her past all her sex was protected before this one guy and of course me. The difference being every time I have pulled out and we have had sex about 25-30 times now.
So she thinks shes pregnant. She often feels tired, she has to pee a lot, her breast are tender, and we have both noticed they have gotten bigger. She didn’t have her period this weekend when it was expected and still has not had it. And apparently she had her period after she was with this guy and with me but she says it could be break through bleeding and it was not her actual period.
So Thursday we are going to get her a pregnancy test. I have been really supportive of her. But things are not looking good these are noticeable changes and its scary. I have to be supportive and make her feel better, but at the same this is tearing me up. The girl I love can be carrying a baby and that should be wonderful. But not at this point in my life. I’m 19 years old and not ready for this. She is 16 is definitely not ready for this.
The only hope is that she took a Plan B after what happened with this guy. She was hoping that was the end of it. We are going to find out Thursday for sure. She has already asked me if I would take her to get her an abortion so her mom would never know. I don’t know if I can do that, but its her decision and I have to support her.
This is extremely difficult, please need some opinions or answers or something. I honestly don’t know what to do. If its my kid I don’t want her to get an abortion. But if its not I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be the father of a bastard child that’s not mine. I don’t want her to kill the baby though. I don’t know what to do.
10 points for best answer please offer some advise or support or something.
Michelle answers:
Okay, so, a couple things.
-I don’t understand, fully, the birth control bit. You have to be on it a month for it to work, so if she started a week before she had unprotected sex she could easily have gotten pregnant.
-The guy she had sex with before you probably did finish in her and just couldn’t be bothered to make her pleased as well.
-You pulling out early is, as I’m sure you know, not a surefire method. But if she’s been good with her birth control that should have covered you pretty well. So it looks like she didn’t get pregnant from you (if she is). Then again, I know a girl who got pregnant when she was on birth control when the condom her bf was wearing broke.
-Unless she has VERY light periods (and I mean VERY), she should be able to tell the difference between break through blood (thin, bright red) and period blood (thick, dark red, a lot more of it for a lot longer a time). I know it’s gross, but you should ask her this. How long it lasted and what it looked like.
-Some girls have irregular periods. Ask her if she’s always pretty on-time with them. If she is, then she could be irregular for this one (caused by stress, food, exercise, etc).
-When you think you’re pregnant you can get pseudo-symptoms. I’ve had a pregnancy scare THREE times and each time I’d think my boobs hurt and I was peeing a lot. So I say when it comes to this, try try try to forget about the “side symptoms”
-I’m glad you’ve decided to get a pregnancy test. Getting to Thursday will be the hardest part.
-Good for you for being supportive! It’s a hard thing to do when you’re stressed out yourself. Try and keep it up.
-I’m sorry to hear your girlfriend is 16, simply because there’s a lot of youth left in her that a baby can crush. Also, no matter HOW AMAZING your relationship is in the beginning, it doesn’t always end up so amazing. That could get in the way of raising a child.
-I don’t think there is anything wrong with ASKING if she took a Plan B. You have every right to know and every right to ask. If she says no, don’t get mad, though. Do NOT accuse her of being stupid or something. That will just hurt you both. Also, if she gets mad that you are asking, tell her you need to know whether this might not be your child. Just be rational and calm, and you’ll be okay.
-If you feel REALLY STRONGLY about keeping the child she needs to appreciate that as well. It’s a tough question and there’s no right answer to it, but it does need to be mulled over by the two of you. It might mean you two breaking up and her abandoning the baby after it’s born. But do know that this kid IS (or could be) half yours, and your say in its birth is just as important as it is hers.
-Does it really matter if the kid is a b******? It is a kid, and it needs to be loved and cared for. Genetics matter little when it comes to parenting. If she has the baby and he is half-black and you’re white, and she leaves him with you, you are his dad.
Try not to stress yourself until Thursday. Relax, read, go visit friends, distract yourself best you can. Also, talk to her. Let her know how you feel. You’ll be of no support to her if you blow up at her randomly one day and the two of you get in a fight. So don’t shut down those lines of communication.
Lastly, I don’t know your circumstances, but is it not possible for you to go buy a preg. Test and then give it to her? Why wait until Thursday? It doesn’t take that long. Just let her know you’re panicking over the whole thing and would appreciate if she took it now.
I wish the two of you all the best. *hug*
Would you mind answering mine? I’d really appreciate it…
Http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090302185435AAmXh8
Sandra asks…
Chances of pregnancy?
My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex for the first time [we’re both virgins] but for the first time he inserts his penis he will not have a condom on, for our first time when the hymn breaks to be natural. but after that he WILL put a condom. We are both clean regarding STDs and STIs but is there a high chance of pregnancy by putting his penis in ONE time then taking it out?? After he peed prior killing off any possible sperm left within. We’re are both old enough if anything and we are ready, we’re just curious about the chances.
Michelle answers:
If you absolutely do not come into contact with sperm, you’ll be fine. However, some studies have shown that pre-cum contains some sperm, and guys can’t control or even tell when they are leaking it. Because its also his first time, he may have a difficult time hanging on long, which would be an even bigger problem. Whether or not you are at a fertile time of your cycle would also affect your chances.
In any case, there’s no way to guarantee that you’d be 100% safe.
You might consider using hormonal birth control to take out the chance of pregnancy, or put on the condom first.
It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
David asks…
Could my addiction make me fat and unwell?
hey this might sound a little strange but i am addicted to bacon and egg sandwhichs i have approx 3 sandwhichs a day and within this month i have ate over 60 eggs! i have never gone through this before but i cant get enough of them! my daughter is 4 month old and through out the pregnancy i craved egg but my addiction didn’t kick in until she was 2month and a half. i use flora cuisine it says a heart healthy blend of sunflower, linseed and rapeseed oils, it’s a natural source of Omega 3 and 6 – and contains 45% less saturated fat than olive oil but i am still worried i will put on weight as i put a little weight on during pregnancy and would like to get to my old self but i cant stop eating them.
Michelle answers:
You must know this is unhealthy or you wouldn’t have asked the question.
Low fat spread with all those eggs and bacon. What’s the point!
You’re only kidding yourself.
Mary asks…
Is there a safe way to lose weight?
So, I am a 23 year old female and I am interested in losing weight. I have currently lost more than 20 pounds and I still want to lose more. I have regulated my eating habits and my exercising habits which is why I have been able to lose more than 20 pounds. I have decided come to yahoo for answers on some more safer ways to lose weight. What are some natural ways of losing weight as far is laxatives and green tea’s and things of that nature? I was looking in to ex-lax chocolates but I got scared because I have read some of the side effects of it like kidney damage and becoming malnourished and bad cases of dehydration. Is there anything that I can take that is safer and won’t do so much harm?
I have spoke with my gynecologist about it (even tho “it’s not her profession” so to speak) and she recommended something called lap-band surgery. I am not interested in getting any kind of surgeries because I am still young and I would prefer to do things the safer way. I do not have kids but some where in the future I intend to have kids and I don’t want to undergo surgery for weight loss to then have complications with pregnancy later on. Do you have any suggestions? 10 Points to the person with the best answer. Serious answers only for mature people!
Also, if you have undergone lap-band surgery please tell me about your experience. For those that have done herbal technique’s in losing weight please share your experience as well.
Michelle answers:
Well, I lost 8 pounds in 1 week just cutting out soda and fried greasy foods. I also recently just bought the Zumba DVDs and I high recommend trying it out, usually there will be class at your local fitness center but its cheaper in the long run to just buy the DVDs. Zumba is so much fun, you can’t even tell if your sweating or not! And you are guaranteed to lose up to 10 pounds in the first week of using Zumba!
Laxatives are not a naturally way to lose weight. Fruits and veggies are a good detox. And it’s better to eat 6 small meals a day because it keeps your metabolism up. Every time your stomach starts to growl and then you eat, that food will be stored as fat because your body thinks its going into a hibernating stage. So its always good to eat healthy small meals.
Also, last year i lost 30+ pounds walking 1-2 miles a day and riding a bike 2-4miles a day and just eating healthy and cutting out soda.
I hope this information is helpful and GOOD LUCK!
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