Sandy asksā¦
How do I get over a guy while pregnant with his baby?
I am 22 years old, and a little over 16 weeks pregnant..very excited. On July 10th, my boyfriend and I were supposed to go to a wedding together. However, I had a doctors appt so I could not make it. His mother didnt want him to go alone, and invited a young girl from work to go with her son…meanwhile, i just went to the doctors. Come to find out by going through his phone (which i know- it was wrong) i confronted him after he started acting different the day after the wedding..and ditched our plans. He said he wants to try seeing other people, and said he just doesnt have those feelings for me, and with the girl at the wedding it came so natural. He admitted to me that he gained feelings for this girl, and they had a lot of fun together. I am devastated. Although everyone keeps telling me what a jerk he is and how bad he is treating me, I cannot seem to get over him. I miss sharing the pregnancy with someone…it hurts me so bad every day and I even experienced stress in my uterus from crying so heavily so often and I was rushed to the ER, he didnt call or check on me once.
He is now seeing this girl, just 10 days after meeting her..He says we cant talk anymore, but he wants to go to my appointments. It makes me sick to my stomach, but he is the dad of our daughter…I am now 126 pounds. When i got pregnant I was 134. He thinks he will see the baby every day when its born but I do not want his new girlfriend around our baby.. how do I get through this, I am only 16 weeks along and I have a long road ahead.
help me… š
Michelle answers:
OK, as wrong as it may be…….he is the one that chose to walk out and date other people. First off, he would not go to my dr. Appointments with me. That is a happy time to check on your baby and I would not have the stress of him going with me. He would find out what I wanted him to know and that is all. I also know that it is hard to get over someone when you are pregnant with their baby. And I am SO sorry to tell you that once that baby gets here and you see him or her, it is going to be even harder. But time does heal. It is going to take a lot of time. Now, as far as him seeing the baby every day. I would not have it. I would sue his ass for child support and then IF he paid it, I would let the courts decide how much visitation he gets. This is your child first and formost. You are in control and you make the decisions. My heart goes out to you cause I have been there…….Good luck to you and yours…:)
Helen asksā¦
What is the best breast pump for larger breasted women?
I have a 3month old daughter that I have been breastfeeding exclusively since birth. Since I started pumping, I have only been getting 2oz each session. I am using the lansinoh affinity double electric pump. I was able to build up a stock supply in the freezer before returning to work after a 6week maternity leave but my daughter eats up to 5oz 3-5 times a day while I am away and my freezer supply is running extremely low. I have tried all kinds of natural remedies to increase supply but I am beginning to believe, after doing some research, that my pump breast shields aren’t the right size. I don’t believe it’s my milk supply because my daughter is always satisfied after nursing. I am only bringing home about 8oz per day from pumping at work. I was a Dcup before pregnancy and am now an Ecup. When using my lansinoh pump, my nipple engulfs the tube of the shield and rubs against the sides of the it. I am ordering a larger breast shield(lansinoh only has standard and large shields) but I would much appreciate first hand experience from women with larger areola’s and breasts. Help!!
Michelle answers:
I am a GG and I use the Medella pump in style. Its not really the size of your breasts – its the size of your nipples that matters and you’re right – you may need a different size shield. Honestly I’d do a consult with a lactation professional if I were you. Also, check this out:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/pumping_decrease.html
Nancy asksā¦
pregnancy decisions? Help?
umm ok, im 14, before you say its horrible that im pregnant and freak out, i know this already.. But its my responsibilty to take care of the child i created.. Yes, i know im to young and my life will change. Im currently 13 weeks pregnant, my ex bf (who might be the father) wants me to keep it, my current bf (might be the father i dated him before the other) wants me to abort it because he has no money, i tell him moneys not a problem, im always with my ex bf he’s like my go to guy when im sad. I have an abortion appiontment tomorrow but ive told my mom that i might not do it, she says its the best news shes ever heard. But to the point… Im young and my pelvis and hips arent wide enough to deliver a full term baby (is what i think) my mom says they get spongy but she wouldnt know all 7 children she tried to have she had c sections (im the only one who survived (miscarraiges)), and i mean face it im not ready for child birth and my mom agrees, i want a c section, but will the doctor give one to me if i ask? I really dont wanna go through natural birth, its kinda scary to me and its more likely i can die than a 20 year old giving birth.. Its scary knowing i might die, to me a c section is a more safer way for a person my age. i kinda need help with allot of things.
Michelle answers:
You’re not going to die, that’s the point of a doctor. He/she will deliver the baby in whatever way is necessary in the situation. As far being scared, that’s natural. I got pregnant at 16, and had my daughter at 17. It was obviously scary, I’m now 23 and haven’t had any more children yet but I know no matter what age you are, you’re going to have some nerves and anyone who says differently is just lying. As for the possible fathers, face it you may not realize it but Neither of them have any money, they’re kids too. Be prepared to raise this child alone. Your boyfriend may stick with you, but he may not. My daughter’s father stuck with me and we’re now engaged, but my situation is, unfortunately, not the norm. Be stong, be prepared for people to judge you, but realize that this is something down the line you will look back on as a blessing. Our daughter is the best thing thats ever happened to myself and my fiance, and although we were nervous as hell at first, neither of us would change a thing now
Betty asksā¦
Do i have a good argument for getting rid of age of consent laws?
Firrstly, age of consent laws can be very confusing for kids as there are such huge differences in opinions. For example in the USA, it can be 18. In the neighbouring country Mexico it can be 12 in some districts. Thats a huge difference. Such indecisiveness among lawmakers can breed contempt for the law.
Secondly, there have been many cases where age of consent laws have ruined many young peoples lives. For example 17 year old Marlow Wilson was jailed for receiving consensual oral sex from a 15 year old at a party. He received a 10 year sentence, but out of sheer luck served only two. These laws are indiscriminate and do not take into consideration individual circumstances.
Thirdly, one of the main arguments for age of consent laws is to tackle teen pregnancies. However, western countries with very low age of consent laws such as Sapin where it is 13 have far lower teen pregnancy rates than the US where age of consent is generally between 16 and 18.
Fourthly, such laws are intrusive to male teens. According to some studies, men reach their sexual peak in their teens. It is unfair for elderly men or middle aged lawmakers to pass laws whose only affect would be to make youngsters feel ashamed about their hormones or natural curiosity.
Fifthly, such laws were initially intended to protect children from predators, but in practise these laws have shifted and extended their focus to meddling in teenagers private lives.
Sixthly, teenagers have a tendency to rebel. Therefore passing such laws might arguably have the opposite effect.
Seventhly, a lot of advocates of such laws tend to follow conservative political views which are often motivated by religious values such as “abstinence” or “no sex before marriage”. But why should religious values be imposed upon the irreligious?
Eighthly. puberty rather than date of birth determines the sexual maturity of humans and other animals. Also mental maturity is not always linked to someones age, but rather can differ widely among people of various age groups.
Finally, people cannot help at what age they fall in love. Some people do not fall in love until their thirties. Others do in their early teens. It is unethical to allow strangers in suits and ties to interfere in such intimate, personal and sensitive situations. Such matters should rather be handled by parents.
Michelle answers:
1) Whether or not law confuses anyone is not a useful argument
2) The judge can and often does take circumstances into account. Now, when legislators pass minimum sentencing clauses and other such “tough on crime measures” that take discretion out of the judges hands, then there is a problem.
3) Unless you can show a causal connection between age of consent and teen pregnancy, this is not an argument. Mere correlation means nothing. Some other factor, such as education, could be the driving force in each case.
4) Age of consent is not about anyone’s sexual peak. It is about how and when cognitive changes occur that make people behave more rationally.
5) Again, you need evidence.
6) Exactly why they should not be treated as adults.
7) Religious arguments should not be the basis of law regardless of whether the law is enforced on those who or religious or not. Separation of church and state.
8) Most cognitive changes are directly linked to neurological changes that occur at relatively predictable times in life.
9) One does not need to have sex in order to be in love.
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