Ruth asks…
I need advice on my marriage!?
I am 19 and have a six month old son and I am pregnant with twins. My husband is very old fashioned and expects me to cook clean and take care of him, the kids, and the house. I am fine with this but I’m already tired and he wants me to follow the same schedule that I did when I wasn’t pregnant and when I was pregnant with just one baby.
which is:
1. Do all nighttime baby care
2. Wake him up at 6:30
3. Have a full breakfast and the newspaper ready by 7
4. Clean the whole house top to bottom every day
5. Have the children fed and clean and in the play pen by 5:30
6. Have dinner hot and ready by the time he walks in the door at 5:30
7. Clean up dinner by 7
8. Put the babies to bed by 8
9. turn down the bed by nine
10. be showered and in sexy lingerie by 10
11. Make passionate and wild love to him
12. Start it all over again.
He has told me that I will follow this same schedule through the pregnancy and the birth of the babies. Also he has told me that I have to buy bigger maternity lingerie because he won’t stand for it if I don’t make love to him every night. I told him I might be to tired and he went into a rage saying that I am his wife and I will do as he says and that if I am to tired I can pack my bags and go live with my mother for the next nine months and he’ll find someone else to make love to him until I get my act together. I am worried that if I don’t do as he says he’ll kick me out or worse cheat on me. He says we will make love until my due date and that i will make love to him the second I get home from the hospital. Also I will be having an all natural vaginal birth. My husband is thirty and I am 19. If anyone could give me advice on anything in here it would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance.
this is a real post and I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m joking and why everyone thinks he’s abusive. I love him and he loves me! All I wanted was advice on how to keep up the schedule NOT your personal opinons.
Michelle answers:
Well if you can pull half of that off your freaking super woman, bottom line take care of yourself and your kids, rugrats and in utero!!! Talk to your hubby he just needs to chill and explain your doing all that you can he will eventually understand…… Good luck and life is great when kids are raised in a happy productive marriage, so you can do it!!
Sandra asks…
I really want a baby……?
I am 23 yrs old and an LPN going back to school for my RN. I have a little less than two semesters left for my RN. I have been with my hubby for 8 years and we have a 2 year old son. I have a horrible desire for another child even though due to our family situation we can’t have another child and because I had a complicated pregnancy with my son I would have difficulty finishing the RN program. Other than getting a dog/cat, how can I get over my desire to have another child? I see so many people having children and I wish I could expand my family as well. In addition to this question, have any of you tried either clomid or natural substances to boost your fertility? When I finish my RN I plan on getting pregnant ASAP and my husband and I had 2 years that we did not use protection before having our son.
uhm, I am completely able to carry a child. I had a threatened abortion(meaning I bled a lot and they worried about what commonly is called a miscarriage) and I suffered from hyperemesis and diabetes. I am just concerned about my desire to be pregnant and have a child right now when I know it would complicate my situation significantly. Read the question before you leave a bull answer.
Michelle answers:
If pregnancy is difficult for you than hire a surrogate.
Lizzie asks…
I need advice on birth control after having a baby..?
I am 23 years old, married. We have a seven year old boy and I will be having our second boy in about 5 weeks. I have kidney disease but I dont take any medications other than fish oil pills and natural mona vie juice, which helps me keep normal kidney function. I have normal blood pressure and no other health problems when I am not pregnant.
I am trying to decide on a tyoe of birth control to use after the baby is born. I want to eventually try for a girl but not anytime soon. Everyone wants me to get a tubal, But I still want the option to eventually have one more. This pregnancy has been much better than my first but it is still high risk because of my kidneys which is why they suggest tubal.
I am wondering if anyone has a suggestion on a great birth control for my situation. I was thinking mirena IUD, has anyone used this? What did you think? Did you have any complications? What about the 3 month depo shot? I have used the pill before but I really dont care for it.
Michelle answers:
I got the mirena IUD shortly after having my daughter. Its been 3 years now and I have had NO problems with it. I would highly recommend trying it! I love it bc its impossible for me to remember to take a pill everyday, or a shot every couple months. PLUS, my periods started getting shorter and lighter, then they stopped all together. THAT is nice!
Read about it online, and talk to your doctor. If you want a worry free birth control, go for it!
Mandy asks…
Bring up milk supply while pregnant?
i am breastfeeding my 6 month old boy, and found out that I am pregnant again. For the first trimester I have to be on progesterone pills. The Dr. told me to wean my baby because the pills were bad for him. I did not want to, so For 3 three days while I was waiting for info from specialists, and not taking the pills yet, I was feeding him a bottle every other feeding, just in case I would have to wean him. I am taking the pills now and breastfeeding him as well, on the advice of the specialists.
I have a head cold, the progesterone pills decrease milk supply on their own, as does pregnancy. Any advice on how I could increase my milk supply again? I would like to feed him until he is 1 year old. I have started feeding him on both sides at every feeding, am drinking up to 15 glasses of water, milk and juice a day. It has been a week since I started to take the pills, and I still need to give him at least two bottles of formular a day.
Anything that is natural that I can do to bring back my milk supply? I will be on the pills for another 1.5 months.
Thank you
I absolutly have to be on these pills, I dont take anything else ever! If I dont take these pills my unborn baby could die. I did speak to many specialists about this before taking them. Unfortunatly, all the specialists are now on holidays, I was not antisipating this problem, and did not think to ask them at the time. I also was on these pills with my boys pregnacy. I have been pregnant 8 times and have 4 children. Keeping the unborn baby alive is more important than breast feeding my baby. But I would like to do both 😉
Michelle answers:
The progesterone pills are certainly not bad for your baby – most doctors don’t know jack about what’s truly safe or not; visit dr hale’s website http://www.infantrisk.com for the straight goods.
The problem is they’re hormones and they DO sabotage milk production.
Are you a high-risk pregnancy? Those pills are usually prescribed when there is a risk of miscarriage. In such cases, some doctors advise against breastfeeding because breastfeeding can cause uterine contractions that might trigger a miscarriage. I’m on the fence about that one – as a veteran of MANY miscarriages, the one thing i’ve learned is that if the pregnancy is healthy and normal, it takes a *lot* to cause a miscarriage; mother nature is stubborn that way. But if the pregnancy is not healthy and not normal and it’s the first trimester, then i seriously question whether it should be allowed to continue.
If your pregnancy is not a high-risk, then i’d get a second opinion as to whether you really need the pills – some doctors prescribe them to “dry up” nursing mothers if they get pregnant again.
It’s not fluid you need, btw. It’s totally not necessary to drink insane amounts of liquid – your body needs food, rest, and sleep. I have been breastfeeding my youngest for over 3-1/2 yrs and the one sure way to kill my supply is to go a couple days on inadequate sleep.
Bin the formula and nurse him more often – that’s the best way to bring up your supply IF your hormones will let it happen. I was pregnant twice after my youngest and the first sign was my milk dried up – my daughter was *livid*. Each time, the first sign i was losing the pregnancy was waking up in agony because i was packed to the max.
Use these sites to arm yourself with proper information:
http://www.drjacknewman.com (he is THE breastfeeding go-to guy in three countries)
http://www.infantrisk.com (dr thomas hale actually *does* the research on medications during breastfeeding – regular doctors just rely on info sheets handed out by the manufacturers who don’t bother with it).
ETA: just read your addendum – what about donor breast milk, then? Check out Eats on Feets on facebook to find donor milk providers.
ETA again: i, too, have been through the wars: 16 pregnancies, 3 babies (now aged 24, 21, and 3-1/2). After the third time the pills failed me, though, i stopped going through hoops during the first trimester. If the pregnancy makes it to the second trimester, then i start taking steps to preserve it.
And fenugreek? Didn’t do jack for me.
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