Michelle answers:

I am so sorry. I know your pain.

Chaste Tree Berry (Vitex) is known to help ovulation. I have never taken it but have heard lots of good things about it. Here are some other herbs that help with fertility. Http://www.fertilityhelper.net/female_fertility_herbs.html

Have you considered seeing an acupuncturist? I was really skeptical at first but really notice a difference in my cycles after seeing one. Also, they really study herbs and can make a “formula” that is right for you.

Take some time. Only you know best the right decision for you. If that means waiting I would do it. Much luck!

Michelle answers:

IVF – InVitro Fertilization. IVF. Most states allow IVF. Most states however are not comfortable with Surrogate Mother are Surrogacy. IVF ethics only come into play if the child is not between the two donors, say the clinic mixed wrong sperm with egg or wrong egg with sperm. If the child is not 50 / 50 DNA of both parents and may be noticeable it can become a huge problem. Now a child is born and a family has to take care of it cause one of the parents is biological and not the other. Two another problem with IVF is the harvesting of the eggs and what to do with them when done. When they go to the female they harvest eggs not egg. So the mother can easily have them planted back in her (however easy that may be) if she should need or want another pregnancy. Also what does she do with the excess eggs. Many cases have came about that a mother has become the biological mother unwillingly to other children due to Surrogacy and IVF. Google Surrogate clinics where some women are paid to carry a child between you and your spouse and some will give you a child with your DNA if you are single man. Its complicated but check into it.

Michelle answers:

I would NOT suggest finding surrogates in India. There are surrogates in Canada and the US. The problem with Indian surrogate mothers is that since it’s done much cheaper and much more out there, there is a lot of disorganization in the surrogate industry, and then the only guarantee you’re actually getting your child is a DNA test, which might actually prove you have the wrong baby

i’ve read about couples who went to India to collect their children, got stopped at the border for a DNA test and found they had OTHER customer’s children with them – they weren’t allowed to take those kids home, so those kids AND their own children were put into 3rd world orphanages.

So, yeah, talk to your wife, figure out what’s best for the children. And understand her point of view. One of the reasons she may not like this idea is because it’s only a natural baby to you, not to her, and if you have such a strong desire for a “natural” baby, this isn’t really fair to her, that she has to adopt but you have a biological child.

So, think about the reasons you feel the need to have a “natural” child. Sure, humans are hard-wired, like all animals, to want their genes to continue, but you have to ask yourself, is that not a tad superficial? Don’t entirely rule out adoption, since with this idea, she’d still be adopting your kid.

Michelle answers:

Love Miles and Jared! Such cute names and though, I am not a big fan of Damon, it goes extremely well with Miles and Jared. Love the name Elias because it is on my namelist and Bryce is ok. Lawson was actually my teacher’s last name is 5th grade, so I guess I’m use to it.

Congrats to your mom’s friend and the names are adorable.

BQ-
Elias Deegan
Jacob Landon
Braden Christopher

Eli, Jake and Brady <3