Donald asks…
How can I have my fiance and my best friend present during labor but not my mom?
Me and my mom dont always get along well. My fiance doesnt want her in the delivery room with us because she is really great at stressing me out. She didnt support my pregnancy until I was already in my 7th month. When I told her I was pregnant she cried out of anger and not joy. Im 25 years old. Her response was that she was too young to be a grandmother. Shes 44. Our pregnancy was planned. It took us a year to conceive our son going through one miscarriage in the beginning. My fiance has been great and my best friend has been so comforting and supportive. I was there when her daughter was born and I want her to be there for me also. Im afraid my mom is going to stress me out. Im trying to go natural or with very little pain meds. My family thinks its wrong to have my fiance and my best friend and not my mother. Now that Im in the home stretch my mom is actually showing excitement and support. I need some advice…..PLEASE…..Im stressing over it and not sure what to do. Im due Jan 22nd.
Michelle answers:
I don’t want my mother there either. Just my husband. If she lived close at hand, I would think about having my best friend in there as well, though I think it would freak her out (she doesn’t have any kids yet).
My mother is well older than yours, and her behavior has become erratic. I can NOT deal with whatever random insult she takes while I’m in labor. I can NOT handle how she might react. And she will get overly tired and not listen to others and go sit down.
She asked me already about who I wanted there. She was insulted and saddened that she was not on the list. But what can I do? She has ruined the day we told everyone we were pregnant. She ruined Thanksgiving with a fit about my ultrasound. As much as I love her, and as much as things would have been different a few years ago, when she was healthier, I can’t deal with it. And I won’t have my delivery ruined as well. I told her it was just my husband, and I am sticking to it. I will probably not call her until labor is well under way or complete.
Chris asks…
Has anyone else had a low lying placenta?
I have been diagnosed as having a low lying placenta. It is 2cm from the cervical opening (at my 19 week scan). I have another scan in 2 weeks to determine if it has moved up enough for me to have a natural birth (my preference). If it hasn’t then I will have to have a c/s birth which I am realllllly not looking forward to (I have a fear of surgery, and the recovery time after a c/s is longer than a natural birth).
For those out there who have had this problem what options were you given by your health provider?
Did your placenta move up later in the pregnancy? I have heard the statistics are in 90% of cases they do but good old me is thinking “Well I am in the unlucky 10%”….
I am 28 weeks pregnant
Michelle answers:
I have a low lying placenta and its 2 cm away from my cervix and they said i can go natural, before i was 1 cm at my 12 week scan and at my 20 weeks and then they checked me again at 30 weeks and agaiin at 36 weeks, talk to ur doctor and have them keep an eye on it.
Laura asks…
???????????? 2 or 3 children or more ?
How was your pregnancy/pregnancies??? Planned or surprises??? How was your labour/s??? how many weeks were you, was you induced or natural??? How many children do you have??? How many do you want??? Is this how you thought family life would be??? I’m just curious. I have 2 boys one’s 19 months old and the other is nearly 10 weeks old and I want more. (maybe 1 more) would like 4 children but we’ll see. My family life is just how I expected it to be. Busy busy busy and very tiring but loving my boys millions. I didn’t enjoy my pregnancies to much, I was too hormonal and had spd with second and both were lovely surprises. Labour wasn’t how I planned. An emergency caesarean which ended with a general as epidural didn’t work properly and an assisted vbac after 20 hours of contactions at home before getting to the hospital and being so tired that I didn’t have enough strength to push my son out without help. Also got a 3rd degree tear. Both scars healed well and very quickly. Labours were 27 and half hours and 43 hours both from waters breaking naturally. 1st was 41 weeks and 2nd at 40+4 weeks.
Michelle answers:
1st baby- Daughter 7lb 6oz . I had her when i was 18 so it was unplanned but wanted. Terrible pregnancy, sick every day for 7 months. Normal delivery, 17 hour labour, but 3rd degree tear, ouch! Had circumstances been different i would have had another baby withinin 2 or 3 years but didnt. Always thought i’d never have anymore, even telling the man i met when i was 29 that i didnt want anymore children (my daughter was now 11). But, after a year or 2 the good ole biological clock started ticking………and whaddayaknow, one month later was expecting baby no.2
2nd baby- Had my son at age of 32, was 9lb 5oz, 6 hour labour, but a shoulder dystocia birth (head born but shoulders stuck in my pelvis) son needed oxygen at birth, i have read about mothers whose babies died because of shoulder dystocia, being stuck for too long, suffer lack of oxygen and brain damage. I thank god every day for me being so lucky. He is now a healthy, lovable 4 year old. Definitely to be my last baby as never risking labour and birth again……..
3rd baby:- Hd my 2nd daughter at age 36, she was 7lb 4oz. Met the man of my dreams and was pregnant within 3 months. Diagnosed with polyhydramnious so had to have elective c-section at 37 weeks. She is now 8 weeks old and i am exhausted! Definitely to be my last baby as i was sterilised during the c-section. This was because i could not risk another pregnancy, but now i have been sterilised, and even though i know i dont want, and can’t afford anymore children, i find myself thinking ‘but maybe i shouldn’t have been sterilised’ its just so, final!
Just goes to show it really is true when they say no 2 pregnancies or births are the same!
Ken asks…
My exgirlfrien said she was raped. She had no signs of it but her mood. There was nothing else, was this real.
She came home, sore after staying at her girlfiriends, she has stayed there before but not come home so sore. She hid the fact until the next day even though it was obvious something was wrong. There was no physical evidence, she said she went to the hospital and reported, but no papers, no documents. I seemed to want proof. The next week she had the pregnancy scare. This whole time is a living hell for me so I qeustion it happening and she becomes mad. I seemed to do more damage than the supposed rape. I never found out if it was actually true, no real details. She was at the bar with a friend, the friend left her at the bar so she got a ride with an old high school friend, he supposedly took a detour pulled over and raped her, she had no signs of a struggle, looked alright, all her long natural finger nails where there, was it true, does that sound true, am I a bad person for not believing or getting mad, why would she not tell me more, what should i have doen, I still want to know?
I did stay with her for quite some time after all this went down, it was very comforting for her as it seemed, of course her behavoir became more violent than in the past and continued to go to the bar with the girl who left there. I still stayed with. cause I iked her, told her to settle down with the partying, because she had been raped in the past coming back from the bar, basicly curious to what people thought about her story instead some were angry at me, no i stayed with her, comforted her and tried to convince her to get counseling, gave her space when she needed. To me as much as it seemed like a story i tried to believe and think eventually its what caused my leaving, seriously, why would she want to go back to the bar, with that friend, I felt bad becuase I was not there for her that night but she liked it that way, her friend did too, they had some lesbian past but maybe still going, she was too much, who knows, that is why I came here. for sure not crawling back, just away
Michelle answers:
If she says she was you should take her seriously and do something about it!
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