Friend protesting a baby shower for another friend(long)?

I have a friend whom I have been friends w/ for about 3 1/2 years now(whom I will refer to as friend 1). She and her husband have been trying desperately to conceive for the last 5 years, and finally conceived via IVF a few months ago. My friend is a middle school teacher, and her husband is an economics professor at a small local state college, so they are not exactly rolling in money, and during the school year friend 1 is quite busy. They also found out they are having twins, so they are now preparing for 2 babies.

When I was expecting my son about 2 years ago, friend 1 didn’t come. She had recently had a severe letdown in the trying to conceive department(they were going to try a sperm donor, got almost to the end of the process, then the donor decided he didn’t want to donate anymore), so I understood(as it had taken me about a year to conceive my son, and we had had some concerns as to my fertility as well as my husbands due to previous medical issues on both our parts) why she wasn’t interested in coming. I saw her after this, and we talked, and I told her I understood her reasons for not coming, and left it at that.

Friend 1 also didn’t come to friend 2’s baby shower, but by this point they had drifted apart a bit, not to mention that friend 2 is a bit bossy and demanding(she is one of those ppl who do their best to make your POV the exact same as theirs), as well as had kind of made light of friend 1’s husbands fertility issues. Plus, Friend 2 had gotten pregnant on a 1 night stand w/ a guy she had been seeing off and on for the last year or more, after which she didn’t allow the guy to be a part of the pregnancy or the baby’s life for any reason other than she wanted to control every aspect. The guy had a good job, and was very nice(I met him a few times) and he was interested in being there, but backed off when friend 2 said she didnt want him around. I had been out of work about a year at this point, so I was pretty much broke, however I scraped up the money to get her some of the items she had on her registry(most of which were pretty expensive as they were all organic clothes, and all natural this and that, seventh generation diapers-which I can respect, b/c I do my best to get as much organic food and all natural things for my son and myself, but only to the extent I can afford, and when your friends are not that well off, you cannot expect them to just drop $35 on an organic outfit set from a specialty store)and went to her baby shower w/ my then 7 month old son.

I emailed Friend 2 and another couple of our friends to ask them if they thought they would be interested in helping me host a proxy baby shower for Friend 1(I thought this would be easier for friend 1 b/c she is in the middle of preparing for her maternity leave, as well as middle of the school year whatnot, and it would mean that no one -except me and my husband- would have to drive all the way out to where she lives now as she lives about an hour and half away from most of us; & further from me). I thought it would be nice, as well as being helpful, as I have known a few mothers w/ twins, and every little bit helps in those circumstances, especially w/ things like diapers, and she is due at the beginning of May, so it is coming up quick.

No one responded to my email. I finally got a call from Friend 2, saying that she didn’t want to do it b/c “well, (friend 1) didn’t get me anything for my baby shower, and she didn’t get you anything for your baby shower or your wedding,”-neither of which bothered me btw- “I can’t afford to buy her anything” -you are a single mom working at an ipod store less than 20 hrs/week b/c you stay home w/ a “headache” at least once a week, you need get what you can afford, not spend every dime you make on over priced expensive things for your child, then complain about being totally broke all the time, not to mention if it was really that desperate of a situation, I could get a gift for her to give to her, or go in w/ her on something-” And (another of our friends) is mad at her(some situation that occured over a year ago, over some knitting needles), and w/ her having twins, she will get all this free stuff anyway”-At this point, I am just thinking to myself, If you don’t want to be bothered w/ doing it, just say that and don’t make excuses.

Then friend 2 said ” I would really like to see you when (her child) and I finally feel better”-fyi, friend 2 will make plans w/ me and my child, then a few hours before they are supposed to show up, I get a phone call from friend 2 saying “Oh, (her child and/or her) are sick, so we won’t be coming today”- to the point that if I believed her, her child would be sick literally all the time(I know this isn’t true as she hangs out w/ her other friends, and they leave her messages on her facebook page in regard to them). It has gotten to the point that my husband jokes anytime I have plans w/ her, b/c we both know they will never come to pass.

I asked h
er to help me w/ this b/c I thought it would be a nice thing for friend 1 and her children, as I have watched her go through not being able to be pregnant for several years, and this will probably be her only pregnancy. I was thinking about making her a diaper cake or 2 and putting things on &/or in it. I am still unemployed, but I wanted to do at least something that wasn’t a gift card, and the only other people are her family that live up north, whom I’ve never met. I told my husband what Friend 2 said, and he said that he thought it was kind of messed up.

I am starting to think that Friend 2 only really wants to talk to me when she has nothing better to do, and that she is not at all interested in seeing or hanging out w/ me anymore anyway, and I should just cut her out of my life. Granted I don’t get to see Friend 1 much, but we still talk occasionally, and try to get together during the summer when she isn’t working. I also know that she would really appreciate anything for the
babies.

Thoughts?
the only reason I included the info on friend 2 is b/c she has been friends w/ friend 1 longer than I have, and I am trying to determine why she is being so bi+Chy and childish(the not wanting to get someone something b/c she personally hasn’t received gifts). My problem w/ her is this, not that she doesn’t want to help. If she didn’t want to help and just said so, I would have understood, but just say that.
her reasons for not wanting to do it are the reason for my issue w/ her. you don’t give a gift w/ the expectation of getting something in return.

Friend protesting a baby shower for another friend?

I have a friend whom I have been friends w/ for about 3 1/2 years now(whom I will refer to as friend 1). She and her husband have been trying desperately to conceive for the last 5 years, and finally conceived via IVF a few months ago. My friend is a middle school teacher, and her husband is an economics professor at a small local state college, so they are not exactly rolling in money, and during the school year friend 1 is quite busy. They also found out they are having twins, so they are now preparing for 2 babies.

When I was expecting my son about 2 years ago, friend 1 didn’t come. She had recently had a severe letdown in the trying to conceive department(they were going to try a sperm donor, got almost to the end of the process, then the donor decided he didn’t want to donate anymore), so I understood(as it had taken me about a year to conceive my son, and we had had some concerns as to my fertility as well as my husbands due to previous medical issues on both our parts) why she wasn’t interested in coming. I saw her after this, and we talked, and I told her I understood her reasons for not coming, and left it at that.

Friend 1 also didn’t come to friend 2’s baby shower, but by this point they had drifted apart a bit, not to mention that friend 2 is a bit bossy and demanding(she is one of those ppl who do their best to make your POV the exact same as theirs), as well as had kind of made light of friend 1’s husbands fertility issues. Plus, Friend 2 had gotten pregnant on a 1 night stand w/ a guy she had been seeing off and on for the last year or more, after which she didn’t allow the guy to be a part of the pregnancy or the baby’s life for any reason other than she wanted to control every aspect. The guy had a good job, and was very nice(I met him a few times) and he was interested in being there, but backed off when friend 2 said she didnt want him around. I had been out of work about a year at this point, so I was pretty much broke, however I scraped up the money to get her some of the items she had on her registry(most of which were pretty expensive as they were all organic clothes, and all natural this and that, seventh generation diapers-which I can respect, b/c I do my best to get as much organic food and all natural things for my son and myself, but only to the extent I can afford, and when your friends are not that well off, you cannot expect them to just drop $35 on an organic outfit set from a specialty store)and went to her baby shower w/ my then 7 month old son.

I emailed Friend 2 and another couple of our friends to ask them if they thought they would be interested in helping me host a proxy baby shower for Friend 1(I thought this would be easier for friend 1 b/c she is in the middle of preparing for her maternity leave, as well as middle of the school year whatnot, and it would mean that no one -except me and my husband- would have to drive all the way out to where she lives now as she lives about an hour and half away from most of us; & further from me). I thought it would be nice, as well as being helpful, as I have known a few mothers w/ twins, and every little bit helps in those circumstances, especially w/ things like diapers, and she is due at the beginning of May, so it is coming up quick.

No one responded to my email. I finally got a call from Friend 2, saying that she didn’t want to do it b/c “well, (friend 1) didn’t get me anything for my baby shower, and she didn’t get you anything for your baby shower or your wedding,”-neither of which bothered me btw- “I can’t afford to buy her anything” -you are a single mom working at an ipod store less than 20 hrs/week b/c you stay home w/ a “headache” at least once a week, you need get what you can afford, not spend every dime you make on over priced expensive things for your child, then complain about being totally broke all the time, not to mention if it was really that desperate of a situation, I could get a gift for her to give to her, or go in w/ her on something-” And (another of our friends) is mad at her(some situation that occured over a year ago, over some knitting needles), and w/ her having twins, she will get all this free stuff anyway”-At this point, I am just thinking to myself, If you don’t want to be bothered w/ doing it, just say that and don’t make excuses.

Then friend 2 said ” I would really like to see you when (her child) and I finally feel better”-fyi, friend 2 will make plans w/ me and my child, then a few hours before they are supposed to show up, I get a phone call from friend 2 saying “Oh, (her child and/or her) are sick, so we won’t be coming today”- to the point that if I believed her, her child would be sick literally all the time(I know this isn’t true as she hangs out w/ her other friends, and they leave her messages on her facebook page in regard to them). It has gotten to the point that my husband jokes anytime I have plans w/ her, b/c we both know they will never come to pass.

I asked h
er to help me w/ this b/c I thought it would be a nice thing for friend 1 and her children, as I have watched her go through not being able to be pregnant for several years, and this will probably be her only pregnancy. I was thinking about making her a diaper cake or 2 and putting things on &/or in it. I am still unemployed, but I wanted to do at least something that wasn’t a gift card, and the only other people are her family that live up north, whom I’ve never met. I told my husband what Friend 2 said, and he said that he thought it was kind of messed up.

I am starting to think that Friend 2 only really wants to talk to me when she has nothing better to do, and that she is not at all interested in seeing or hanging out w/ me anymore anyway, and I should just cut her out of my life. Granted I don’t get to see Friend 1 much, but we still talk occasionally, and try to get together during the summer when she isn’t working. I also know that she would really appreciate anything for the b
abies.

Thoughts?
I worked w/ both these friends for about 2 years, then we all moved on to different jobs but stayed friends.

Surely this doesn’t mean im infertile, or does it?

I have just suffered my 3rd m/c. 1st was a blighted ovumn at 5wks, natural m/c, i got pregnant again straight away without having a period after m/c, everything was going well, had an early scan at 6wks 5days, saw the fetal pole, yolk sac, saw and heard the heartbeat, went for my next scan at 12wks only to be told it was only measuring 8wks and no longer a heartbeat, devastated, i had no m/c symptons at all, d&c required. I then got pregnant for a 3rd time having had periods in between, had just found out and 5 days later bleeding again, turns out it was a chemical pregnancy.

I had bloods done over 1week ago and so far have only got one back for bloodclotting which was normal, the other 6 will take a bit longer, should hopefully have them towards the end of the week.

I had posted a Q on before about the chances of having a successful pregnancy after 3 m/c and people started replying to me telling me to look at adoption and IVF etc, but surely having the 3 m/c doesn’t mean i am infertile as i can infact get pregnant, i am just having a bit of trouble holding onto them.

Surely this doesn’t mean im infertile, or does it?

I have just suffered my 3rd m/c. 1st was a blighted ovumn at 5wks, natural m/c, i got pregnant again straight away without having a period after m/c, everything was going well, had an early scan at 6wks 5days, saw the fetal pole, yolk sac, saw and heard the heartbeat, went for my next scan at 12wks only to be told it was only measuring 8wks and no longer a heartbeat, devastated, i had no m/c symptons at all, d&c required. I then got pregnant for a 3rd time having had periods in between, had just found out and 5 days later bleeding again, turns out it was a chemical pregnancy.

I had bloods done over 1week ago and so far have only got one back for bloodclotting which was normal, the other 6 will take a bit longer, should hopefully have them towards the end of the week.

I had posted a Q on before about the chances of having a successful pregnancy after 3 m/c and people started replying to me telling me to look at adoption and IVF etc, but surely having the 3 m/c doesn’t mean i am infertile as i can infact get pregnant, i am just having a bit of trouble holding onto them.
I found out after my 2nd m/c i am rh-, i was also told this wouldn’t affect a first pregnancy but future pregnancies, i didn’t receive the shot until after my 2nd m/c