Michelle answers:

If you both want a child and to own a nicer home, moving to take a better job is the best solution.

I understand she does not want to leave her family, but it may be necessary to leave if she ever wants to have and provide for a family of her own.

Since you would be in a much better financial situation and since that income goes a lot farther in Indiana than Florida, she would be able to visit her family. She can also keep close to them via internet, webcam, phone and mail.

I see no logical reason to stay in Florida. The economy is much better in Indiana.

You should take the job and she needs to decide to honor her marriage vows and come with you or stay there. You both don’t have much time left to have children and if thats what you want to do you need to make choices leading you in that direction. With or without her.

Michelle answers:

I had some tests done. I’ve had one successful pregnancy, one miscarriage, one ectopic, and am pregnant again (5 weeks). A co-worker told me she has anticardiolipin antibodies, which causes the body to reject the fetus. So I asked my doc for this test, and they said they’d run a few more, something about lupus antibodies or something. It was I think 4 tests in all, all blood tests.

I don’t remember how much it cost, but it wasn’t outrageous, or else I would have remembered it. I had mine done at a lab down the hall from my reporductive endocrinologist (which was at University of Iowa hospitals and clinics).

My results were all normal, but it really relieved my mind that I wasn’t having a problem due to that. My co-worker, once they figured out she had the anticardiolipin antibodies, had to take heparin injections when she was pregnant.

So, call your doc and ask them to call into a lab at a hospital near you to order the tests you need, including that anticardiolipin antibodies and the lupus whatever tests. If you find out you have them, I believe there’s medicines you can take to combat it.

Good luck!

Michelle answers:

Ok – to answer your question:

1. NO – no reputable doctor would recommend / prescribe / perform fertility treatments for a child of 16 nor would they do it solely to help you to have quadruplets. Most doctors try to minimize the chance of high multiples. IVF and fertility treatments is for women who cannot conceive naturally – the goal is to have 1 healthy child.

2. There is nothing that you can do to make your eggs split – they either do or they don’t – nature at work. Fertility treatments create multiples by either over stimulating the ovaries to produce multiple eggs and/or transferring multiple embryos back through IVF. So it would be fraternals not identicals.

3. There are no natural ways to make your body have high-order multiples. If it is meant to be then it will happen . . . But it is doubtful.

4. Cost of IVF – $10,000 – 20,000 on average and there are no guarantee for success no matter how many embryos you cram back into your uterus – you could have them put 10 in there and there is a chance you won’t have a baby – most reputable doctors cap it at 2 if you are under 35 (and over the age of consent) unless there is a reason to transfer more and wanting to have quads is not a reason.

Seriously – go to school, work hard, have a baby when you are an adult and be thankful for whatever you are blessed with. I am a mom to twins and it is NOT easy.

Michelle answers:

Well we are in the same boat. We have now been ttc for 31 months with unexplained infertility. I luteal phase varies some also but that is all. We have tried 3 cycles of Clomid and 3 cycles of injections (Gonal F plus trigger shot) so we are at a loss. My RE said IVF is his next suggestion to us. We can try 3 more cycles of the Gonal F if we want though.

He said there are a couple of issues that can’t be determined by testing that could be going on. The first being that my tubes may not be picking up the egg. My tubes were open but he said there is not test that determines if the tubes are doing their job and picking up the egg once it is released. He said also my eggs may not let the sperm penetrate them easily. He said it would be like having a hard shell around them. I call it natural birth control…LOL! Or he said it is just simply not happening. He said according to our test results we should be able to conceive on our own but going on 3 years and only 1 chemical pregnancy (after coming off of Clomid-very common to happen) it may be time for other help.

We gave up on the Clomid because I wasn’t having a great response on it. It was really messing up my cycles (1st cycle didn’t ovulate, 2nd cycle I was 10 days late). I did have a better response on the Gonal F.

If you are getting 3-6 mature follicles on the Clomid I don’t think you need the Gonal F. They usually want around 3-4 follicles per treatment cycle (unless it is IVF). If you expect low progesterone ask for supplements and make sure your level is checked after ovulation. Also have you tried a trigger shot with the Clomid cycles? If not the trigger shot is taken once when the follicles reach maturity (18mm or larger). Then you are more able to pinpoint ovulation and the trigger shot just gives the eggs an added boost to finish maturing and release. It can also help the progesterone level in the beginning.

I am not sure there is any additional testing for unexplained infertility. They usually just check you tubes, uterus, bloodwork and hubby’s sperm. I know for couples experiencing miscarriages they will also check for chromosome issues.