Michelle answers:

Don’t panic, you are not alone and you have nothing to be ashamed of – around 15% of women suffer depression during pregnancy and around 85% of women experience postpartum depression. It’s all those hormones girl – men have no idea. The biggest thing is you need to reach out for some help NOW – don’t wait. Especially start the vitamins and minerals now as it can take up to 2 months for them to take full effect.

From my research, the best therapy available to pregnant women is a combination approach of light therapy, vitamins and minerals, exercise, support groups and cognitive therapy, plus a few other things as noted below. Just so you know, I’ve tried everything I am recommending here except the light therapy and can confirm it works.

Therapy: Cognitive therapy is the recommended treatment for all forms of depression and for a good reason – it works. Find yourself a licensed psychologist who practices cognitive therapy and has a PHD or a PsyD (or Masters if experienced and/or highly recommended) – the sooner you can start treatment, the better. Additionally, marital issues can be extremely stressful during pregnancy – if you and your husband are having issues, you should also seek couples counseling.

Support: Find a postpartum depression group that you can participate in. There are several online, but try and find one you can attend in person too. You can’t believe the relief of actually speaking with others in your same position until you experience it. And this can be a great source for additional help! Do a google or yahoo search for “post partum depression group” or “perinatal depression group” and the name of your city or other nearby cities. In the meantime, here are some links for online groups which I hope will help:
http://www.ppdsupportpage.com/
http://dailystrength.org/support/Mental_Health_Addiction/Post_Partum_Depression/
http://www.postpartum.net/brief.html
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/postpartum_depression.htm

Also, if you have not done so already, share your emotions and concerns with your husband, friends and family and ask for their help and support. Don’t be afraid to ask for specific help. Hopefully they will be there for you. If not, don’t break your heart on it – some people are so overwhelmed with their own issues they have no energy for anything else, while some are so damaged and stunted they never evolve to the point where they are capable or willing to help others – just move on and find the help you need elsewhere. Don’t be scared – help is available, you just have to find it. You might try your local library bulletin board, local church or temple too – talk to the pastor (or rabbi) – most churches have programs (or know of programs) that will help.

Physical and mental exercises: At least 1/2 hour of physical exercise every morning will do wonders – exercising when you first get up is twice as effective as at any other time during the day – try varying taking a walk with some mild yoga or pilates. Some evidence that yoga (possibly due to breathing rhythyms) is especially helpful for depression. Naturally, consult your doctor first, but in most cases exercise is good for you during pregnancy.

On the mental exercise side, try affirmations to help focus yourself on a positive outlook – affirmations are a form of self-hypnosis and cognitive therapy you can use on yourself – and there is plenty of scientific and anecdotal evidence that they really work (and again, I can personally vouch for this). Affirmations should be written down and spoken out loud every day in at least two sessions per day (best times are first thing in am and last thing at night), with at least 10 repetitions each session – stick with it, because it WILL work. Works even better when combined with relaxation and breathing techniques. Try maybe 15 to 20 sentences, like “I feel deeply happy.” and “I am full of positive energy.” I know this sounds hoaky, but do it every day and this will help. Links on how to write affirmations here (best is first, but they all have good info.):
http://healing.about.com/b/a/014041.htm
http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/affirmations.htm
http://www.mhmail.com/articles/writing-affirmations.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-Affirmations-REALLY-Work?&id=579638
http://www.increasebrainpower.com/affirmations.html
http://www.squidoo.com/positive-daily-affirmations/
http://www.mindpub.com/art220.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autosuggestion

Vitamin and Mineral Supplements and Eating: Believe it or not, a huge part of your depression could be due to this! You may need iron supplements, lack of which can be a major contributor to depression – you need a blood test to identify if you are anemic and a doctor recommendation of the exact dosage of iron supplements you should take – note that there are different kinds of anemia and that iron supplements can be seriously toxic if taken in excess so you must consult a doctor and be properly tested first. If you are advised to take iron supplements, take them in the morning. Whether or not you take iron, in the morning take a good multi-vitamin, 1,000 mg of omega 3/6/9 combo, a 500 to 750 mg. Vitamin C complex, a 1,500 mg B-vitamin complex and in the evening take a 1,500 mg calcium/magnensium supplement and another 500 mg of omega 3/6/9 combo and 500 to 750 mg of Vitamin C. Calcium/ magnesium and iron block each other from absorption which is why they need to be taken at different times. The omega complex helps in absorption of most vitamins. Vitamin C greatly increases iron absorption and helps with calcium also. Get good quality vitamins from a health food store rather than low quality drugstore brands (Nature’s Plus and Kal are good, Natrol Ester-C and Solray chewable B are both excellent – don’t skimp on the omega complex; get the expensive kind which is certified mercury free and which contains BOTH fish oils and plant extracts) – I myself prefer chewable or liquid vitamins as they are easier to take and generally absorb better. Let your doctor know all supplements you are taking or plan to take, ESPECIALLY if you also take an anti-depressent or other medication.

On eating, talk to your doctor but generally plenty of fresh fruits and vegetable, protein and dairy (or good dairy substitute) is a good idea. After the pregnancy (NOT during), you could try eating soy and flax products containing natural plant estrogen to help balance your hormones, but you should talk to your doctor before doing this.

Medication: There are so many risks to yourself and your child in taking commercial anti-depressants that I cannot recommend them – try everything else first before you go that route. Unfortunately, not enough research has been done to verify whether most natural anti-depressants are safe during and after pregnancy and some supplements like 5-HTP and ashwagandha should definitely be avoided by pregnant women. If nothing else works and you feel you must take an anti-depressant, talk to your doctor – if you want to go the natural route, SAM-e is probably the safest to try, but speak to your doctor first.

The good news is there is clinical evidence that light therapy is effective for pregnant women and that certain vitamin and mineral supplements are just as effective (and even more effective) than commercial medications such as zoloft, paxil and prozac in combating depression, including fish-based omega fatty acid, vitamin c, vitamin b complex and iron. See these links:
http://depression.about.com/od/pregnancy/a/lighttherapy.htm
http://health.yahoo.com/topic/depression/resources/article/healthwise/tn9778
http://www.pregnancylight.org/
http://www.columbia.edu/~mt12/blt.htm
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/432569
http://www.mercola.com/2002/may/4/light_therapy.htm
http://www.cumc.columbia.edu/dept/nyspi/sad/preg2.html
http://www.raysahelian.com/pregnancy.html
http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/188_15755.asp
http://depression.about.com/od/altmedsjw/f/sjwpregnancy.htm
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/50001.php
http://www.ahrq.gov/clinic/epcsums/samesum.htm

Some other good general links:
http://www.med.umich.edu/depression/pregnancy.htm
http://www.babycenter.com/0_depression-during-pregnancy_9179.bc?Ad=com.bc.common.AdInfo%404730308
http://www.4women.gov/FAQ/postpartum.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/postpartum_depression.htm

Lastly, don’t forget to laugh! Try and do something that makes you smile at least 3 or 4 times a day (or more)!

Hope this helps – and I hope I didn’t overwhelm you with TMI (too much information!)

Michelle answers:

The cramping could be a sign, I had it for the first 8 weeks I was pregnant. The doc says it is from your uterus expanding and contracting to make room for the baby, and it is very normal. I don’t know about the other things you described, that just sounds like normal body changes to me. But good luck! Hope this helps a little bit!

Michelle answers:

The good news is you can still be pregnant, the best way to tell is to buy a pregnancy test in your local drug store. Also if you have been trying for only one month then take a little more time. Most fertility clinics will only start seeing you after two years. Take some time and enjoy sex with your partner:)

Michelle answers:

If the discharge is in pink r brown color it might b implantation bleeding …
Better if u take preg test …….wait for few more days
all the best